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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Be The Change

I have been thinking about this post for about a week and a half now. A little over a week ago, our school participated in a three day event called Challenge Day. Going into it, a majority of the student body (and some of the teachers) were very skeptical about this program. We had very little idea of what it entailed. We did know that it involved sharing, crying, and hugging. That was about it. Over the past couple of years, I've become increasingly concerned about the culture in our school. Students have become increasingly disengaged and disrespectful to their teachers and even more so toward each other. Challenge Day came at a time where it seemed like each day brought stories of more fights and more bullying. As far as I was concerned, Challenge Day was well worth a shot.

I'll be the first to admit that in spite of my full support of Challenge Day going in, I was more than a little apprehensive about participating myself. Over the past five years, I have cultivated a certain persona in the classroom. I had developed a reputation as being somewhat gruff. I am direct and do not show much emotion around anyone but my wife and children, and even then, I tend to be somewhat guarded. That has not always been the case. I remember being a very affectionate and tender-hearted child. Even in high school, I was regarded as a "nice guy". My military experience hardened me quite a bit, as is usually the case. I had a number of experiences in which it was a matter of survival to suppress my emotions and function in a rather cold, rational way. Once I entered the classroom, that part of me became rather cemented. I have always cared about my students, which may come as a surprise to some of them, and that is something I deeply regret. I hate the idea that anyone has sat in my classroom and thought I didn't care about them. The truth is that I don't understand how someone could do the job of a teacher without caring about students, but I know that some teachers don't. I like to think that we don't really have any of those in our building.

Aside from my military experience, the process of becoming a teacher also contributed to the persona I had adopted. Throughout my teacher training, we were repeatedly warned against becoming too close to students and especially against showing any affection or making physical contact with students. This was especially true for male teacher candidates and even more so for male teacher candidates looking to become high school teachers. There is such a fear of sexual misconduct that we had it hammered into our heads that it was best to just keep our distance from students. As a result, in my first five years as a teacher, I had only hugged a few students with whom I had a particularly strong connection. Those rare embraces tended to be with my homeroom students upon their graduation. As I had been trained, I showed, my students I cared by expecting much of them and offering to help them with their studies whenever possible.

Challenge Day showed me the error of my ways. Really it showed me the error of our ways as an educational system. For many of our students, simply wanting the best for them doesn't register as caring. These kids lack strong support systems, and our expectations just seem like another source of oppression for them. They need to really know that we really care. I feel like I was able to finally show that to my students during my day of participation in the gym. I lowered my waterline and let the students in my "family" group see the real me. I allowed them to see me cry. I shared with them my greatest fears as a father, and I listened to them share their struggles and heartaches. Over the course of several hours, we learned what it really means to show someone you care. You listen to them and you offer them a hug. It was a transformational experience for many of us. I had students come up and hug me, and I could tell they didn't want to let go. Words can't express what that felt like.

During the "cross the line" activity, my heart broke for students as they had to repeatedly cross the line indicating that whatever statement being made applied to them. Students who have lost loved ones to drugs, alcohol, violence, incarceration, divorce continued to cross the line, and I could see the physical toll it took on them as all of those experiences impacted them all over again. I saw students who never talk to each other holding each other up as they realized just how much they had in common, and I saw students who had not experienced that pain show their support by holding up the sign for "I love you". The whole scene was almost spiritual. I will never forget seeing two particular students that I have had in class for a couple of years crossing the line together time after time. Both of them were in tears, and I think that if not for the other, they wouldn't have been able to go on. I felt horrible for having known both of them for so long without actually knowing them. When I had the chance, I apologized to both of them for never taking the time to hear what they have been through. Then we hugged, and I felt like a teacher. Before that, I didn't realize that I was missing that part of my job.

Since Challenge Day, I have had several students say that I have changed. They have said that they can tell I care about them now. By putting up those barriers that we've been told we have to put up, we have deprived ourselves and our students of one of the only things we have to offer in a world that is becoming more and more virtual: human contact. There are people out there making the case that school can all be done online, and that teachers are becoming obsolete. Kahn Academy has provided a breakthrough in online delivery of content, but Kahn Academy cannot see a kid in the hallway who has been crying and offer them a hug and an opportunity to talk about what is going on their life. If we don't start doing more of that, we will lose the reason most of us became teachers to begin with.

I know that things will not change overnight. My students know me for who I have been, and it will take time for them to see the man I want to be going forward, but I hope that they do see it, and I hope that I will never again have a student sit in my class thinking that I do not care about them.

I see you.
I got you.
I love you.
Be the change.

30 comments:

  1. I can honestly say that Paris High School has changed already from challenge day. I, being a freshman, and seeing this change already is saying something huge! If challenge day keeps coming back every so often, I really do believe that Paris High School can become a better environment, through-out the years.

    --Bailey Bouslog 7th Hour

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  2. Taylor Donovan 7th hourMarch 11, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    Even though i have not been going to this school for a long time, it is still easy to see the change challenge day brought. People are a lot more caring and more considerate to others. Its important for highschool to be a nice, friendly place for students and challenge day has made it that much easier. I hope that everyone can maintain the possitive change and we wont go back to our old ways.

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  3. After hearing all of the comments on Facebook about how the Challenge Day changed their lives I really wish that I could have experienced it. We are all human, and we need to make a change to make our world just work better. I think they should have another one for the students who didn't get to participate this time around.
    -Makenzie Tegeler

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  4. Challenge day was probably one of the greatest activities for this highschool. Not only for students but for teachers and other members part of the school. I didn't think my fellow classmates went through rough times in their life. After seeing the students and faculty surrounding me being emotional... I started to realize I was to judgemental towards them. I had respect for others before, but now I have even more respect because now I can see the change in their eyes. I hope that I will change and become an even better person.
    -Elise Svendsen

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  5. Challenge day at first seemed to take a huge toll on the entire student body and staff. As time progressed after challenge day I see all the same things continuing and no one really seemed to completely change from challenge day which is hurtful to see. I do see the change it made in you as a teacher though you do seem more caring and actually showing emotion as you said you had not before. I think this program needs to be continued in order to show students what it is like to lower their waterlines and have that constant reminder that they are not alone.
    -Justin Asbury

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  6. In all honesty, I thought the challenge day attitudes wouldn't last the rest of the year. Most people are only concerned with themselves and how they appear in high school. I was really surprised to see how everyone stayed mature through the rest of the year. I think everyone did a little bit of growing up this year. Everyone realized that it's our last year altogether. I hope that everyone will continue this attitude for their entire lives.
    -makenzie tegeler

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  7. Wow! It seems like Challenge Day really changed Paris High School. When we release from our drama meetings Mr. Lynch always says "I see you, I got you, I love you." It seemed like a powerful three day for the school and it really seemed to change everyone! I hope Challenge Day comes back so my class gets a chance to go.
    -Faith Fox, 7th Hour

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  8. At first I was afraid of Challenge Day. I even thought about skipping on my day so I wouldn't have to go to Challenge Day. I have really bad social anxiety so all those people in one room and having to talk to the people in there that I didn't know or really talk to was overwhelming. I was shaking, hyperventilating, and wanted to puke through most of it. But because my good friend Brooke Hunter was there I was able to go through it without puking once. I also just really didn't feel like pouring my heart to these people when I really didn't feel like it would change anything. But I am glad that I did go through it because I was wrong and it really was life changing. And the school really did change, but even after that I was still afraid that it wouldn't stick after like maybe two weeks. But now I feel like it really has stuck with the majority of the school and I hope that their plan to have it every two years works so that last years and this years freshman get to go through it to and see what everybody was all hyped up about.
    -Kayna Sollars, 5th hr

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  9. I'm kind of upset. I just typed a huge paragraph and then it would not publish because I hit preview & didn't have an account. Anywho, I think that challenge day was extremely beneficial for every single person who attended. I'll be honest, when i first heard that we were doing it I didn't think that it was going to end up very well because i did not think that many people would open up to one another and share their stories. Despite my thoughts, majority of them did. Or at least tried to. Not everyone has had something horrible happen to them, but all people have had their struggles and a lot of them have not told others and I'm sure felt so much better after they were able to let others, others they do not normally talk to, know how they are feeling or what they have been through. Sometimes just letting someone know what your going through, will earn their respect. Just letting them know that you do have responsibilities and you are doing what you can. I was not all too sure about how things would go after seeing mtv's "If you really knew me" it was the same thing, except they were obviously filmed. I think that it really did help out the students and i hope that they continue to have it in the future.

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  10. My older brother, Seth Moore and my older cousin, Booke Keller, both spoke very highly of Challenge Day. I am very eager to participate in Challenge Day with my peers. It seems like Challenge Day had a very positive influence of the high school. I want to be in a part of Challenge Day and by part of the change. I am extremely excited for next year to come so I can be in it. I'm very ready for this emotional rollercoaster. :)
    -Samantha Moore 7th Hour

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  11. I think that even though challenge day was almost a year ago, i think that we should still take the time out of the day to realize that everyone has their own problems and we should not be so quick to judge. i think we need a challenge day intervention type thing and i think everyone should be able to expiernce what i got to. this was a life changing day and I would deff do this again if I could.
    Jessica Jones

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  12. Challenge Day was a great moment for PCHS many people realized that they are not the only ones with problems. A lot of kids had a lot more than the average person. It's very sad and seeing this wanted to make people come together and help each other out. It made every one view people much differently than they ever have. It changed me and I encourage everyone to try this great challenge. It may sound dumb like all of us thought, but truly its life changing.
    Garrett Aitken

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  13. I'm so happy to see so many of you still feel like Challenge Day was important. For me, it changed the way I see my career, and it sounds like it had a similar impact on all of you. I can't wait to do it again next year.

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  14. At first I thought Challenge Day was just going to be something stupid that we were forced to do but in reality it helped us see that not everyone is alone. At least someone that we see everyday has the same problems has us and we are never alone. Challenge Day truly helped PCHS for the better and if we continue to have it, it will do great things for our school.
    Briana Pearcy

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  15. I think we should have another Challenge Day at our school because it was a great experience. I thought it was going to be dumb and no one would really participate in it but everybody did and it was an awesome experience for our school. We need to start being The Change.
    Mariah

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  16. I was a participant in Challenge Days and I was so skeptical at first. I didn’t understand really what was going on and when we first entered the gym and everyone was dancing and going crazy I was really confused. I had heard it would be emotional, but I had no idea it would be as emotional as it was. It was one of the best experiences of my life and changed the way I look at people to this day.
    Chelsea Allen

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  17. I was absent for challenge day, but from what I have heard and seen, it has really effected the students in a positive way. It was a good experience to make people be more accepting and actually see what people have been through that they never would have known if it didn't happen. I can tell that people don't look at each other in the same way anymore. We all finally accept and respect each other.
    Jacob Buntain

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  18. I was not in high school at the time of challenge day. I do, however, get the emotion that comes through in your blog. Wow! What an experience this must be for everyone involved. Your blog made me realize just how blessed my life is. Each item you listed that kids my age were crossing the line to say they have had happen to them, I have been so lucky to have had none of them happen to me. Unfortunately, I have many friends who have so I see how it effects them. It is so sad that students have to have something so tragic be what they have in common with each other. So many young people lack a support system at home. The only attention they get will come from the students and teachers. You dont realize how many people are just torn down and destroyed until you all go through something like this together, as a team. What a powerful day this must have been for you and your students. With your blog, you continue to inspire students who were not there and those who have yet to be a part of this event.
    Dillan Dorjahn
    1st hour

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  19. To this day, I am still skeptical of the idea behind Challenge Day. Although it was beneficial for the day or even the week, it wasn't just a flip of the switch thing where everyone magically ends all heart ache and drama. To "Be the Change", people honestly have to change from within; not because watching a friend cry made them upset or a sad story hit home with them. All changes come from within.
    Chandler 2nd Hour

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  20. I have not experienced challenge day yet but I am looking forward to doing this next year.

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  21. It's so nice to read this blog just after Challenge Day, and I'm very glad that the High School will be having another Challenge Day next year. It really has made me think that we've lost a little of what you've talked about here, and how close the student body felt after that day. I remember how close and how happy I felt with other students afterwards, how negative it seemed to bully someone, yet, I feel like a lot of that has been lost over the last year, and it's really a shame.
    Murray - 3rd Hour

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  22. Since all of this happened most people completely forgot about this. we shared a day pouring our hearts out to almost complete strangers. Now, we just go back to talking smack behind each other backs, make fun of people who can't help themselves, and just bully. The point of Challenge day was to help people..not make their lives worse.

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  23. I can't be the change right now at the end of this year but i can be the change next year as a sophomore for sure.

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  24. After going through Challenge Day, it has really changed my perspective on a lot of things. I never really knew how many people were going through the same stuff I was or how many people went through stuff that I haven't. My favorite "drill" was when everybody crossed the line. It was so sad and eye-opening to truly see what people deal with. I also liked it when everybody got their own time to just vent. I hope you keep your movement going Mr Ogle. It's truly awesome. I hope I can go through Challenge Day as a senior. I absolutely loved it.
    -Samantha Moore 8th Hour

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  25. Yeah I think its easy to sit there and experience it but hard to be committed to the work and want to actually make a change but when the school and students are set thats when a change will be made and they just have to get in the mindset.

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  26. Challenge day was definitely a crazy experience, I wouldn't necessarily call it life changing, but more eye opening. It blew my mind to see all that my fellow classmates have been through. I couldn't believe it. I think it has changed PCHS for the better.
    -Blake German, 5th Hour.

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  27. Challenge day was one of those things that is a one of a kind opportunity. I was so very honored to participate in such an activity. Challenge day had opened up my mind to the world around me. It showed me that even the people I had thought had everything they ever wanted were not what they were set to be. I saw that many people had dealt or was dealing with the same thing that I had dealt with before. I am so happy that PCHS has had the wonderful opportunity to experience such an event.

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  28. Challenge day was an amazing experience to go through and I think that everyone should be able to experience that atleast once in life because it changed me and made me realize that I need to be a better person to the people around me.

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  29. The first time going to Challenge Day was an amazing experience. Before going, you never realize how many people have gone through hard times, just like you may have. It's amazing to see that others could be there for you, and help you get back up once you've fallen down. It's incredible to see so much love in one room. It's breathtaking and absolutely beautiful.
    -Lindsey Pitts, 6th Hour

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  30. This year was my first Challenge Day experience and it changed me along with many other people. I feel like now, later in the year, the changes that Challenge Day made are slowly going away. You don't see people there for each other with anything that would be going on in their lives. Only when something happens to a large group of people. This past month I have seen more things that resembled the weeks after Challenge Day, but nothing like what it is like right after that week.
    Brenna Aitken

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